so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
