In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
