my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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