Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
