then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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