i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
