So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
