Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize