Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
