Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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