I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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