White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
