You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
