So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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