I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
