did you get engaged???
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
