how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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