How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
