Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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