Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
