The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You left your phone here
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