sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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