i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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