Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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