it wasn't lemon gatorade
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
