I'm pants shitting drunk right now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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