why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
