Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
