i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
