Are we in a gay sports bar?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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