never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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