Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
