Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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