Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
