omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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