Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
