it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
