yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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