Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
