There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
