i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
