I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
