Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
