I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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