She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
