The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize