Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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