please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
