Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
