why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
