Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize