walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
