overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
