How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
