Well douche your snatch and let's go!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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