I will die if light touches me.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Randomize
