I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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