Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
