just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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