Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize