I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
