My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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