How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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